Eileen and I were spending the day together yesterday. As we were driving along, a song played on the radio. She started to describe the band and the meaning of the song to me. She also explained she had such a difficult time with the entire CD a year ago, as most of the songs were related to a band members grandmother's cancer plight.
She continued to explain that she couldn't understand the completely negative message they were delivering about the disease. Yes, it is life changing and an experience no family should have to go through. She then turned to me and explained all of the positive things that have happened since my diagnosis.
She said she never knew there were so many warm and caring people in the world that had genuine concern about others. She recognized how our family and friends had become closer and she recognizes the love and compassion that is shared between all of us. She has also recognized at and early age to appreciate and enjoy her mother.
Since the beginning of this journey I have been trying to focus on all of the good. In the back of my mind there was a legacy or sorts I wanted to leave with Eileen. Something that would help her through the difficult days she undoubtedly will face during her own life journey. Whether I am here for six months or 30 more years, there was one important message I have hoped I would be able to pass to her. Look for the small gifts each day brings. These are the things that will carry you through life challenges.
I cannot tell you the inner glow I was enjoying the rest of the day....and of course it continues to carry me yet today. I have indeed made a difference. What a gift!
Another song started to play on the radio and the subject changed.
Shortly thereafter she had a question. 'Mom, can you have a lung transplant?' I just smiled at her.
Small gifts....small places. Enjoy your car rides.