Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Great News, Guys!

Dr. Eden, my Radiologist, walked into the exam room with a huge smile on his face. His words were "great news, guys!" I waited a moment. Okay...when will the 'but' come into this conversation.

From there he went on to explain that the most recent series of treatments worked. The small tumor in my left lung has been obliterated. The scan that would normally show multiple tumors in my right lung....gone! There is one pesky spot that appears to be an encapsulated tumor. The size has not changed in three months. They believe it could possibly be scar tissue at this point.

'See you in six months! You're doing well.. If the six month scans show no progress, we will not need to see you for a year!' A reprieve...a HUGE reprieve!!!

I gave him a hug. He said, "I'll take the hug...but thank the Lord."

From there we went on the see my Oncologist, Dr. Levin. My blood work shows that I am 'normal'. No anemia. My white blood counts are within healthy range. My liver and kidneys are functioning normally. Isn't it amazing what a body can go through?

Dick and I headed to the elevators and I started the happy dance. Is this for real? I felt giddy. He reminded me that I will be able to work in my garden for the first time in three summers!

I awoke this morning with the same fear that has been plaguing me every morning for some time now. I realize that it will take some time for this amazing news to sink in. Maybe I am a little worn from all that I have been through. I have survived a difficult battle.

My husband, Dick, has been an amazing supporter in this fight. He has been right by my side through all of it. He made a choice to walk hand-in-hand with me through the good and bad as well. Thank you, Dick. You are deeply loved and greatly appreciated.

How do I thank all of you for the amazing support your have provided? Your prayers were heard and answered. We all know it is all in His hands...but you must have been sending some pretty compelling requests. I will be forever indebted to you. Thank you.

I also want to thank the amazing staff at Cancer Treatment Centers of America. To think, a year ago April, I was told by another large medical institution to go home and make peace with myself. CTCA would not allow those words to be echoed. They have a huge arsenal and were ready to reload and take it up to the next level, if necessary. Dr. Chris, Dr. Levin and Dr. know how I feel about you and the superb care you have provided

This journey is not over. I might lay low for a bit of time. It's been some time since I have been able to breathe in fresh air. I need to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my life.

I love you....all of you.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Here We Go Again

It has been some time since I have updated my blog. All of the holidays passed by so quickly! Where does time go?

It has been busy around here since I returned home from treatment in Illinois mid-December. Somehow I had the energy to complete Christmas shopping, decorate the house, prepare many meals....It was great. The New Year found me down for the count with the flu. That was quite a setback....yuck.

Before I knew it, Dick and I were flying to Sacramento for the grand opening of his newest project, Red Hawk. It is a beautiful facility and I am very proud of him. We had a great time celebrating his huge accomplishment.

Sacramento started the beginning of a two week long trip. Following Sacramento we joined our friends in their home in the Palm Springs area. Being surrounded with friends has been a blessing, as I have been filled with anxiety knowing that my next round of testing is fast approaching. I have not been handling it well. Thank goodness for warm weather distractions.

My energy levels are good. I have been able to golf, swim and enjoy more than one margarita. I wish my stamina were better, but when I look back at what I have experienced, I think I am doing pretty darn good. Some days I wonder if I feel the way I do because of the war that I have been battling or if is it because I am in my 50th year?

Dick and I leave for Cancer Treatment Centers of America on Sunday. I have scans and other tests scheduled on Monday, February 9th. The results will be available on Tuesday the 10th. My belly is full of butterflies and doing flip flops already. I do not recall ever being so apprehensive. The thought of having to be away from my family for another six weeks of treatment...well, as you can imagine, it's difficult.

On one hand I feel very good about what my results may be. It was just that one little tumor they needed to treat last time...and we know the treatment works! I keep reminding myself that I need to be positive. I am so lucky to be here today. When I was told by Mayo last April that there was nothing more that could be done, I honestly did not think I would be here to ring in the new year. Well, I am here and kicking! I think I am just plain exhausted from fighting. It seems it is all encompassing. I want to be able to do more than fight a disease. At times I feel so selfish. I feel like all I do is take.

So....once again it is a waiting game. Next week will tell us if we have a reprieve or if we will continue the battle. I will keep you all updated as soon as I know the results.

As always, I am so thankful for your continued prayers and support. You continue to lift me and provide energy to fight and appreciate all that surrounds me.