Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Here We Go Again

It has been some time since I have updated my blog. All of the holidays passed by so quickly! Where does time go?

It has been busy around here since I returned home from treatment in Illinois mid-December. Somehow I had the energy to complete Christmas shopping, decorate the house, prepare many meals....It was great. The New Year found me down for the count with the flu. That was quite a setback....yuck.

Before I knew it, Dick and I were flying to Sacramento for the grand opening of his newest project, Red Hawk. It is a beautiful facility and I am very proud of him. We had a great time celebrating his huge accomplishment.

Sacramento started the beginning of a two week long trip. Following Sacramento we joined our friends in their home in the Palm Springs area. Being surrounded with friends has been a blessing, as I have been filled with anxiety knowing that my next round of testing is fast approaching. I have not been handling it well. Thank goodness for warm weather distractions.

My energy levels are good. I have been able to golf, swim and enjoy more than one margarita. I wish my stamina were better, but when I look back at what I have experienced, I think I am doing pretty darn good. Some days I wonder if I feel the way I do because of the war that I have been battling or if is it because I am in my 50th year?

Dick and I leave for Cancer Treatment Centers of America on Sunday. I have scans and other tests scheduled on Monday, February 9th. The results will be available on Tuesday the 10th. My belly is full of butterflies and doing flip flops already. I do not recall ever being so apprehensive. The thought of having to be away from my family for another six weeks of treatment...well, as you can imagine, it's difficult.

On one hand I feel very good about what my results may be. It was just that one little tumor they needed to treat last time...and we know the treatment works! I keep reminding myself that I need to be positive. I am so lucky to be here today. When I was told by Mayo last April that there was nothing more that could be done, I honestly did not think I would be here to ring in the new year. Well, I am here and kicking! I think I am just plain exhausted from fighting. It seems it is all encompassing. I want to be able to do more than fight a disease. At times I feel so selfish. I feel like all I do is take.

So....once again it is a waiting game. Next week will tell us if we have a reprieve or if we will continue the battle. I will keep you all updated as soon as I know the results.

As always, I am so thankful for your continued prayers and support. You continue to lift me and provide energy to fight and appreciate all that surrounds me.

1 comment:

Bonnifer Ballard said...

Hi Kathy.
It's Bonnifer. I did an interview with you on your birthday last year about Dr. Chris vitamin C study. I just wanted to check in. I'll be thinking about you during your upcoming visit. The annual report and a newsletter with your story will be out soon. I'll send them when they're done.
Stay positive - you're in great hands!