Friday, November 2, 2007

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2007 07:27 PM, CDT

I woke this morning mentally preparing myself for chemo. My appointment was at 10:15. I had a melt down in front of Dick before leaving for our long day. This is more difficult for me emotionally than I want to allow myself to recognize.

We met with my doctor prior to treatment. We had a question and answer session. We shared our Sloan update and I thought our meeting was done and we would move on to our next step of the day.

My blood test results were pulled out of my ever thickening patient file. The first thing he pointed out to me was my white blood count levels. Bad news....too low for chemo today. What? We've only just begun!

Evidently my body is still spiraling from my treatment from almost a year ago. He explained that radiation therapy really does a number on the human body and it has already revolted after just one treatment...and that was three weeks ago!

I was able to stay for the Erbitux infusion. On top of that I will require a daily shot of Neupogen for the next three days. This is a colony stimulating factor. In a non-medical term, it's a growth hormone. It will build and strengthen my bone marrow, which in turn stimulates white blood cell growth.

I can't tell you the blow this is on my psyche. I am strong and healthy. My body can't be doing this to me already!

On another front, I shared my recent news with Eileen yesterday. She is devastated. The emotion that rose from deep inside her was overwhelming. I knew it would be difficult for her to hear, but her reaction was almost more than I could bear. I know that you are all praying for little girl needs your prayers as well.

Life is not fair. A hard lesson being learned.

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