MONDAY, AUGUST 20, 2007 06:53 PM, CDT

Life is difficult. Today certainly appeared to be more challenging than others. Maybe I'm just worn out and I cannot cope like I was once able to. As I stated to Dick today, I am no longer the person I was just three short months ago. Please be patient with me. Heck, I'm not patient with myself....how can I expect him to understand? Today was Erbitux infusion day. I find it very frustrating being confined to a chair for four hours. To add to the frustration, I am pumped with Benedryl, which pretty much zaps my energy for the rest of the day. As I was receiving my treatment, the 'Neupogen' word entered into conversation. I have been prescribed SEVEN DAYS of injections before my next chemo treatment next Monday! I must be hearing things! Did they really say seven days? My poor nurse must have seen the horror in my eyes. I explained to her, as nicely as I could, I would not go through the injections without pain meds. Oh...and how about reducing the seven injections to...ummmm...three, since the five I had last time almost killed me! She returned with a prescription of Oxycodone, with the understanding that I would agree to five injections. It was five injections or nothing....period. Okay, how about this for a plan? Let's get blood labs done today to see what we are starting with in white blood count department. Then we can decide from there how many injections I should have? I'm thinking we have a win/win situation with this idea. Save the insurance company $864.00 per injection and save me pain and misery. That would be a no go....no blood work until I go in for chemo next Monday. They want to see my bright smile every day this week. I think I should just start renting space in their offices and make myself as comfortable as I can. Survey: Is Kathy's blood test suggestion logical or was she in drug induced delirium? Comments are welcome. I won't bore you with the details of the rest of the day. I will just repeat my first sentence.....Life is difficult. Rainy days and Mondays.....this one got me down. Give me 24 hours.